Peter Facinelli, the man, best known for his role as patriarch, Carlisle Cullen in the Twilight Franchise, popped the magical question on Mar. 16, 2015 to his girlfriend, Jaimie Alexander. It was like something out of a romantic movie; he proposed to her at the top of the Empire State Building in New York City, just a stone’s throw away from Queens where he grew up.
Although, I’m happy for them — after my cliche “Aww,” I couldn’t help but wonder to myself — “why does he get to move on first?”
In case you didn’t know, before Facinelli started dating Alexander, he was married to beloved TV star Jennie Garth. Facinelli and the Beverly Hills 90210 (the 90s series) star were married for 11 years, and they have three daughters together. But much like many Hollywood marriages, Facinelli and Garth separated in 2012 and divorced in 2013.
Facinelli met his current love, Jaimie Alexander while the two were filming their movie Loosie in 2012. The two said they started dating months after he separated from Garth.
Now that we’ve all been caught up on the back story; I couldn’t help but to feel a little sad for Garth at this moment which is totally crazy considering she’s doing pretty well for herself right now. Garth has been dating actor David Abrams since January and based of photos that have captured the couple out and about; they look happy.
With that said, what is the thing inside of us that makes us feel like, Garth, or any woman that has been involved with a break up isn’t winning if she hasn’t moved on first. I say us because I believe a lot of society as a whole, especially us women, feel this way.
Why do we feel like the woman isn’t winning unless she gets engaged or married before her ex does?! Think about it. I’m sure we’ve all felt it as the person on the end of a breakup or as the friend of someone who’s on the end of a breakup.
Call it girl code; I don’t know, but for some reason, we always seem to have this begrudgeful feeling if the man moves on from the breakup first.
One prime example of that: Jennifer Aniston. Let’s take our girl Jen’s situation. Anniston is killing it career-wise right now. This past awards season she was nominated for a Golden Globe and a Screen Actors Guild Award for her role in the movie Cake, and she’s still one of the most sought after actresses in Hollywood who can demand big bucks.
Anniston’s personal life is also thriving. Besides always having the sexy girl next door persona everyone loves and want to have; she also 46 years old and she has a killer body, gorgeous eyes, and a head of hair that has perfected the loose beach waves or effortless hair look. Anniston is also engaged to actor Justin Theroux, who popped the question with a massive sparkler back in 2011. The two always seem very happy together.
BUT — Yep, there’s a but. But, so many of us still can’t help but to fill bad for Jen because her ex-husband, the very handsome, sexy and talented Brad Pitt moved on from their divorce first. Pitt’s happily married to Angelina Jolie, the woman who has been proclaimed as one of the most beautiful women in the world, and they have, count them, 1, 2, 3… six kids together!
Not to mention, the intense speculation that Pitt was unfaithful to Aniston during their marriage while he was shooting the action-packed blockbuster, Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Jolie, his co-star at the time. But that’s all water under the bridge, as they say. It was 10 years ago, so let’s leave the past in the past. But can we?!
Can we stop feeling sorry for courageous, strong, and thriving women like Anniston and Garth just because they didn’t remarry first? Is it wrong that they took a little time to learn and figure out who they were following a relationship? In hind site, isn’t that better than jumping right into another one before one is truly ready?
If anything, we all can learn from these women and other women in our life who maybe didn’t choose to move on as fast. Taking a beat of breath for ourselves and just loving, enjoying and appreciating life for ourselves is one of the best things we could do.
So the next time we start to feel a little sorry for someone because their ex has moved on first, don’t because that person is probably giving time, patience and understanding to themselves before hurrying to give their all to another person, and that’s okay because self-love is the best LOVE.